Q&A
Q: How hard is it sticking to yourself while doing your time?
Samuel: I mean, you can stick to yourself if you really want - for instance you can go to the SHU. But in General Population, it’s a lot harder. Depending on what type of person you are- it may be okay. I’ve done it for a few years. But generally it’s not that easy. You kind of have to pay your “dues”.
Q: Hello Samuel. How do you manage to keep going and hope for tomorrow after a judge sentences you to life? I know the answer can be long, but I'd still appreciate it if you decide to give me a short answer. Have a nice day!
Samuel: So, I had lost hope for many years, I didn't care about myself and didn't dare think of freedom for many long years. While in solitary, I made a decision to change my way of thinking and opened my mind to educating myself, in doing so I am getting stronger with keeping hope at the forefront of my mind. Everyday I try to do something positive and good, and in result gives me hope for something better. Putting good habits into action, makes hope more vivid. Also the continuous support of family and friends is at the foundation of that, they give me strength to keep hope alive.
Q: Does it get easier the longer you’ve been in?
Samuel: No, it gets harder. The more you’re away from your loved ones, and their lives progress, getting married, having kids, deaths and you’re not there to experience any of it. It chips away at your soul. You try to put up a shield to stop yourself from desiring things, because desire can be a slow painful death. You’re often forgotten, you feel like a burden for depending on people to help you out and you have so little to offer back. It’s tough. The longer I’m here and the more I learn about the outside world, the harder it is for me to accept that I am here for the better, when I know I can be contributing to the outside world and doing good out there.
Q: Does he feel that he has gained anything from his time in prison?
Samuel: Prison has kept me alive, if I wasn't here, I most likely would have never learned my lesson and would have been 6 feet under. Prison has given me the opportunity to face my mistakes. It has given me the opportunity to work towards getting my GED, gaining an education, and learning about the world. I have had the opportunity to self reflect and dissect myself and grow as a man.
Q: Is there anything you look forward to inside prison that provides happiness? Do you have a sense of purpose?
Samuel: School and education gives me a sense of purpose because it makes me feel like if I ever do get out, I could make a difference. Working on this project and our next step has been giving me purpose because I’m talking to a lot of other guys in here who I wouldn’t usually open communication with. I’m learning a lot about other people’s lives and the similarities and differences. It’s been interesting.