"See you soon,"

Samuel: I know it was hard to talk about all of that, but now that you have spoken about it, how has it made you feel, and what sort of feedback did you receive from your family and others? 

Magida: Honestly, after sharing a handful of these experiences, it almost felt like a weight was taken off my chest. It was as if my secrets weren’t this thing I was grasping onto for dear life anymore. It’s out in the open. I’m actually surprised at how well received it was from my family. I know you predicted that, but, I was so sure I would be shunned for sharing things that I was told not to talk about. A handful of my extended family even reached out to talk, and it has been quite nice to connect with them in a way I haven’t before. At first, I was overwhelmed, and at times I felt annoyed when people were trying to excuse my dad's behaviors. But when I discussed it with you afterward, I started to be less closed-minded and more empathetic to others' opinions on everything. Strangers were reaching out to me, letting me know how much I've impacted them and how they resonated with certain parts, and it was truly touching hearing that sort of feedback.

Samuel: My intention was for you to have something positive come out of this, and for you to continue to build your confidence. Your story is your story from your perspective and experience. Others can try and understand your experience, but you have to remember that they may be experiencing the same story but from their own perspective. Does that make sense? It doesn’t make your story right or wrong, you opened the door to share a piece of yourself, and have to allow others who were dealing with the same thing, in different ways, share their experiences with you. A conversation can change and remove these barriers between friends and family and sharing these things can open doors to building better relationships or new ones altogether. I’m so proud of you.

Magida: Well, has sharing parts of your story done anything positive for you?

Samuel: In ways I can’t even begin to describe. It’s given me confidence, seeing where I was wrong, or what went wrong. This new path is starting to unfold, and all these positive things are happening in my life right now. So many positive interactions with people I wouldn’t usually have the opportunity to speak to. I'm learning, I'm becoming wiser and I’m learning how to socialize in a different way than I have been. I'm feeling inspired to continue finding ways to build bridges and connections between myself, family, friends and others. Finding people that can relate with something that I’ve said and resonate with my story. Maybe it can help someone else.

Magida: So, going back to the things we spoke about - in regard to your story. Are there specific conversations  that we spoke about that have altered your perception and made you think of the effects they’ve had on you?

Samuel: I am so fortunate to have the family and friends that are in my life. Even after everything I've been through, they’ve stuck around. After sharing some parts of my story, the fact that they can still find the good in me and that I am worth having in their lives, makes me value those people even more. I didn’t see my worth or value for such a long time. 

Magida: How about your parents and their parenting? Can you dive into your thoughts on that? What is the purpose of a parent, what is their job, what was missing in your life?

Samuel: Protect your children. Communicate with them and try to understand what they're going through. You need to find that common ground to show kids that, even though they are young, they still have a voice and have them try to express it to you. Give children responsibility and purpose. Show they matter in their family. Allow kids to feel heard. I didn't have any of that. I didn't feel like I mattered. What counteracted the stuff that you were dealing with at home? What else happened to help you flourish and become the creative person that you are, who influenced that?

Magida: Oh wow, yeah I mean that’s the biggest part of me. My dad was a hobbyist. Maybe not a healthy hobbyist, but if something piqued his interest, he’d see it through. I got that from him. He encouraged my sisters and I to play music at home and bought us instruments, and that was the start of my creativity. But at school, I had a couple of really amazing teachers that were so encouraging when I pursued art. Even to the point when I graduated and went to College, they would attend my art exhibitions. I really felt heard, valued and loved by those teachers. They did their job well, and it made home life a lot more tolerable.

Samuel: You see, nothing is black and white. Although your dad was strict and sheltered you, he encouraged music and art. Same with my dad. Even though he was a drug addict and drug dealer, he still forced me to go to school and taught me respect, how to treat women, how to work hard, etc. 

Magida: Alright, so what’s next?

Samuel: I guess it’s time to introduce where we are going with this. I think it’s fair to say that exploring our lives helped us “heal” or at least begin to start dealing with our shit. Something we didn’t expect was the impact it was going to make on other incarcerated men who have been following along this journey. We are going to start sharing the stories of other men and how they grew up. It may be a similar upbringing, or it may be totally different. As I was sitting in dayroom, telling my cellie about Prison Chronicles, and how we didn’t know where we were going with it. I was opening up and sharing with him the stories we had written, and he started talking about his life. Comparing, contrasting, noticing similarities. It made me realize that this thing we did was bigger than I thought. Men who have never had the opportunity to share their story, want to. So now we begin the next chapter. 

Magida: Yeah. After interviewing your cellie, I realized the importance of all of this. Two hours into a conversation, and hearing a man who has never shed a single tear in ten years being vulnerable with me, I just knew that Prison Chronicles is a lot more important than I thought. It’s doing something for those who have been silenced for so long. Let’s see where this goes.